Adwentures Keep Coming!

"Kansas City, Kansas City, here I come!
They got a crazy way of lovin' there and I'm gonna get me some!"
- The masterpiece "Kansas City" written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller

A while back, I heard dad singin' this old peoples tune about a magical place called Kansas City. Evidently, this little tumbleweed farm is famous for slow-cooked meat, fountains and - according to the song - "a crazy way of lovin'."

I'm still not sure what all of that means. But, I do know that when my adoptive Uncle Jim and Aunt Jenni pulled their van into the driveway, I figured we were preparing for a great adventure!

Boy was I right! After dad slammed few shots of brown liquor, they strapped me in my car seat and we were off to Kansas City! HERE I COME!

The Rogals have a pretty roomy van. It's got a t.v., a big window to look out and a swimming pool! (just kidding about the pool.) Anyway, it's a mighty roomy van and an awful good way to travel for the little Goo.

When we arrived in Kansas City, we got settled into Jenni's brother's place. His name is Mr. Boomer and he's kind of a scrawny guy. But, he plays football for the Kansas City Chiefs and I'm guessing that I might have a chance at being a sports star too. But, I'll work out and lift weights and stuff... I told Mr. Boomer that he should really consider doing that too. But, what do I know? (Mr. Boomer: please note that it was my dad who said you were "scrawny," not me. So, if you're gonna pummel someone, I would recommend that you start with him.....OHMAGOSH, he's coming back to the keyboard....)

So, anyhow, Mr. Boomer was gracious enough to lead us to his favorite little dinner place. It's a place where all of the adults sit at a big high chair and this man cooks food that they pick up with sticks...they even had a spot for me! I ate rice. And, when dad was holding me, I grabbed the ladle of the ginger sauce and flipped it all down dad's shirt. It was really neat.

But, I also got real sleepy after a while, so we headed out. But it was a fun place. BONZAI!!!!!!!!!

The next morning, mom took a shower and dad was still asleep. So, Jenni said she would watch me. Know what she did? She tortured me by putting my toys on my head and tooked a bunch of pictures! What could I do? I was basically trapped because my dad's a lazy sack of goo and my mom has to take like forever to get ready.

This picture was taken at a store with a bunch of stuffed animals. Not the kind that little kids like me can play with, but the kind that are real but dad said they were frozen by a evil wizard named Dick Cheney. Dad also said that the wizard is so evil that, one day, he was trying to freeze more animals and he shot a man in the face! And that man was sooooo scared of him that he said, "It's okay. It could have been worse. I could have been middle class."

Anyway, hundreds of these animals were frozen by the evil wizard...except for one who came to life when we were at that frozen animal store! It was a moose! And, right after dad took this picture, he walked up to us and in a real high-pitched voice, he said, "Hi Lucas. We've been waiting for you. You are the chosen one. Please, come with me...."

Frankly, I was a little shocked. I mean, sure, I know I'm the chosen one but why did that moose have such a non-moose-like voice?

Anyhow, my mom put me on the back of that moose and he told her, "Thank you. Now, you all feel free to go shopping. Lucas and I are going to free our friends who were frozen by the evil wizard."

So we did that. And I got to meet a lot of new friends. I packed them up in my imagination and someday I'm going to use the power of their spirits to fulfill my destiny...to be a GOOD wizard.